My Evil Step-Mother...

My stepmother and her "love"...

by Stefany DesiGirl Lopez on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 7:03pm

Had a great day, which was just ruined by my evil stepmother. I feel like crying. I don't know what I ever did to make that woman hate me so much. Sometimes I just feel the urge to ask her, "Was there ever a moment when you loved my sister and me...?" However, I already know what her "real" answer would be. She's always been jealous of the close relationship we have with our Dad. And as a grown woman and his wife of 12 years, I think at this point she's just being insecure and immature. So, idk if u can see this or not, but I just wanted to tell you: I wanted to love you once, but you've made it so hard for both Gabby and me to even like you as a friend. When we were both little and Dad told us about you for the first time, both of us were initially confused and then excited about being able to have two mothers to love us and take care of us and cuddle with. But you've become just like the ancient archetype of the "cruel stepmother". Does it make you feel like more of a woman to know that you've hurt us both continually for 12 years...? Does it make you feel like the one with more power, to be sending me accusatory messages saying that I don't love my father or any of you guys, when you know I do? Why do you like to hurt us...? All we ever did was try to love you. Deny all you want, but that's the truth.

-This is what my older sister wrote when our evil stepmother selene, spoke rudely to her, i can only say rudely because if i say anything else and my mom checks this im dead, and also would be too pissed to stop, so i will just stick with rude. Selene doesnt get the fact that we have and always be the most important things in our father's life, she is feeling left out, and in terms, just plain childish, she calls us children, when most...no ALL of the time, she is the one acting like a big brat. When me and my sister were little we were too cared of being yelled at or hit by her, but not anymore, you think ur so big because ur our step-mother, well think again, u may be older than us, but u will NOT disrespect us or our family. We have always tried to love u, even when I truly HATE u, even now, but i just deal with u to make my father happy. Dont u ever question our love for our father again, got it!? he may be ur husband, but he is, and always will be our father, so stop acting like ur the victim, like u always have. I think that u should jsut wake the hell up and get over the fact that we r more important to our father than u!!! Oh, and another thing, if u ever...and i mean EVER speak to, or about my mother badly ever again and i find out i swear to god and i love u wont get away with it, get the picture!? My family means everything to me...and once upon a time u did too, when u were kind-hearted, like a real mother should be, but i guess something just snapped inside u and got rid of any humanity and civilness u had left in u. ur heart is a black hole, u take everyones happy emotions and just crush them, and i dont appriciate that. i cant take u anymore and ur bipolar-ness, get over urself! if u ever do anything to hurt my family ever again, u WILL regret it, end of story. thats it, forget what i said in the beginning of this....FUCK YOU, U IGNORANT BITCH WHO IS ALWAYS SCREWING THINGS UP FOR EVERYONE! YOU HAVE MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL AND RIGHT NOW I DONT CARE IF U BURN IN THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF HELL TO BURN FOR ALL ETERNITY, U SICOTIC ASSHOLE!!!

Stop Whining About It...

Dear Reader,
Some people just cry and cry, they never do anything about it, so they continue to cry and cry. SOmtimes they try to hide the fact that they're crying on the inside, even i they aren't on the outside, I honestly couldn't give a shit and a half. They need to suck it the fuck up and just get over it already, stop being such a crybaby!!! It just irritates me to know that one, others are crying for a stupid reason, two, the fact that they make it obvious, and three, that they just seem to completely shut out anyone and everyone that tries to help them, if you're sad, find a fucking solution, don't just keep on crying about it like a spoiled little brat! Act your fucking age and suck it the fuck up already...those who know me may say I'm a hypocrite, but deep down they know what I'm saying is completely and utterly true. If you have a problem, issue, or even a complete breakdown...suck it up and just relax, stop crying and whining about it!!!

Others Feelings Are Disregarded...

Dear Reader,
People all over the world are constantly hurt by others, well it's has to stop...and as we, humans like everyone else, should know for a fact that we can't survive on our own. We should ban together and protect each other, through tough times, and through the pain of being hurt by others, isn't that what it means to care for others? To protect them, care for them, and love them...no matter what!?


Some people disregard other people's feelings without a care in the world. They think that if the person says they are okay that they mean it, but in reality most of the time they're lying and are really just sad about it or mad, or depressed, etc. People think that other people won't mind being left behind, or completely forgotten about, or neglected, or even just not even known of at all. That's what most people do to me, just forget about me and have fun without me, and honestly I really do care, even if I'm trying t make them feel less guilty about it, but inside I am crying like hell, and wishing I could or was there, that my blood is boiling, and I can't tell whether I'm sad or angry, but I just feel like both. Sad because I wish I could be or was there, and mad because they left me out and are now apoligizing like it's freaking nothing!!!

My True Self...

Dear Reader,
Sometimes I feel that everything will crumble down on top of me...that feeling in your gut that everything will just break down and disappear. When you know things will end badly, but you do or say things anyway, yeah, that feeling is both the best and the worst feeling you can ever and will ever feel in your entire life. I have no idea why the hell I'm writing this, it kinda just came to mind and I'm just writing what I think. Have you ever done something utterly stupid, knowing it's wrong and knowing the consequences, but still doing it anyway? I have...a lot, but not recently...thank god!!! When I was younger I would always be sneaking around seeking out adventure whenever and wherever I could. No matter how much trouble I got in, I kept doing it because I loved the fact that one, I was the only one either brave enough, or stupid enough to do it, or just for the sake of saying I did it.  I loved the adrenaline that I would feel like I could get caught any second if I made a wrong move. I loved doing daring things just for the heck of it, I think I actually liked being that rebel that wasn't afraid of getting in trouble, that one girl who didn't care about what others said or thought of her, to be the one that stood out, the trouble-maker, the one that the teachers were even afraid of. It was awesome, beside getting constantly beaten by my mother that is. But it was always worth it, I don't know why but I kept going at it, I didn't care if I got hit with the belt again or came to school with another bruise, whether it be on my arm, leg, or face, whether it be getting a busted lip or red marks on my butt from my mothers belt, it was all worth it. To feel powerful, to not care about anyone or anything, it was, it was, exhilarating!!! I couldn't get enough of it. But then I realized, when I get older, the consequences will get worse, and I could get sent to jail, I could be expelled, what would that do to my life??? I can't afford to fuck up my life, so I stopped, it took years, but I finally stopped being the rebel, the one who didn't care about others or what they thought of me. I was that rebel up until 6th grade, when I couldn't and wouldn't fuck up anymore. Yeah, I still miss being the rebel, but once in a while it shows, when I see firr escapes and suddenly have that urge to find a way to climb it, and climb to the high spot I could. I stop myself and think of the consequences, but even so, I can imagine myself being that rebel, even at this age. I know this might sound strange, but I can imagine myself in my head doing unbelieveable flips off things, climbing things high up and jumping off with a bungie cord, dancing like a star, singing like a pro, doing crazy flips, jumps, acrobatic things on a daily basis just for fun, being that rebel that I have always truly been, to be that rebel again, it would be amazing. I wish I could be that way again, because THAT...is my true self.

A True Friend...

Dear Reader,
I think that in the world there are two types of people, people who are real and people who are fake. I think this because fake people don't trust others enough to be their true selves around others. Real people tend to just go with the flow and be who they were born to be, to just live naturally and oh so freely...to be your true self. Being able to trust others is the greatest feeling in the entire world, to know you can share your secrets with others and that they'll remain as such, secrets. So far in my only 13 years of life I have only found 1, and her name is -----. She has always been nice to me no matter what and I don't think I have ever fought with her...ever. Those who know this person be that simple discription know how kind and caring she truly is. I'm not sure if she is fake or real, but I think I'm guessing right when I say she is real. She is very bright, kind-hearted, funny, athletic, utterly adorible, respectul, hard working, strong ;both in mind and body, trustworthy, and just the best friend you could ever have. She has never been judgemental of me, whether it be my sexual orientation, my likes and dislikes, or my own personal thoughts on other people. She has always been encouraging, witty, supportive and downright "divertido'' ;in spanish means "fun". She always puts others before herself, which is sometimes not good...for her, but I guess her heart is in the right place. She does whatever she can for others that it's almost unbelieveable, and she is the most amazing person I have ever met. When I'm older, I want to be just like her.  She has never questioned me on my thoughts or feelings about others and has always been helping since I first met her. I honestly don't think there is anyone in the entire world that cna even measure up to her, she is freaking "A"!!! She has nver yelled at me or hit me, or done anything to disrepect me. She has always been that true self, HER true self, she's never been fake with me...ever. I respect her, cherish her, and I don't ever want to do anything to hurt her. Thanks to her I have been able to be my true self a little bit more everyday, even with people I'm not usually like that around. She has always been my strength, I hope we will always be friends...my dear -----.

Don't Doubt Me...

Dear Readers,
For those of you who don't know this about me, I'm bisexual. Some people say it's just a phase or just simply ask me "are you sure?" If I wasn't sure would I freaking tell you,stop being such a dumbass! Some people say "aren't you too young to know?" My response to that is, yes I've known since I was in 3rd grade and I'm currently in 7th grade. Just because I'm 13 years old doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. When others doubt me or say "it's just a phase, you'll grow out of it" it just pisses me off. It's like they don't want me to be bisexual in a way. Basically, the way I interpret it is "You're too young to know what love is, stop kidding yourself. You're just doing this for attention, get over yourself and stop joking around." Because I look at it this way it really just infuriates me to have people constantly say those things to me. Just because I may be a little different doesn't mean youhave to judge me, got it? Think of it this way, people who think being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender is wrong...we feel like the normal ones and we feel like you are the wierd ones, because we feel normal about the way we are, and there isn't anything wrong with that. 

Drifting Apart...

As we drift farther apart I sink into depression more and more every second I can't hear or see her. I don't know why, but something in me is telling me to laugh at her when she is sad and to hate her for no reason. I don't know why, but I won't let it control me. I could never hate her, but it once got the better of me and when she was crying a grin spread across my face and a giggle escaped my throat. Acursed darkness that lies within me...curse you to burn in the deepest and darkest depths of the eternally burning hell! For this I apoligize to my beloved, I won't ever let the darkness within me catch me off gaurd again!!! I could never hurt her, either physically or emotionally. I know I love her and this is the powerful advantage that I have against the darkness, hehe...we don't get to be with eachother much, but when I look into her eyes I just drift off into a better place. I snap back into the harshness that is reality to catch myself before she can notice...I wish she'd look back into my eyes as well though -_- I'm glad to say I haven't felt hate for her fora while, well...time for bed...even thought I'm not going to school tomorrow. As a girl once told me as I now tell you "See you in my dreams...my darling" -wink wink-

-Ms. Grim Reaper